Told Ya.

Yeah, so the scans weren't so great. Not like "Oh my god, your lungs are going to explode" but more like my lungs looked "different" and of course, my liver continues to be an asshole.

So yeah, whatever. I actually felt better after hearing the bad news because I knew I felt crappy. It wasn't a surprise, really. Plus...The next words out of the mouth of my oncolgist were:

"I have a plan..."

And yeah, I might've pictured him as Willy Wonka after he said this, only because he was really pretty psyched about this plan - and not like a "OMG THIS WILL TOTALLY WORK FOR YOU" but if you've ever seen a scientist get excited about the way stuff works, the sort of pure whimsy and excitement that you hear in their voice or see in their faces... Yeah, like that.

The (sort of) bummer is that I'm back on oxygen. I say sort of, because I actually feel a LOT better on it. When I got home and slowly crept up the meager amount of stairs to my house/apartment I threw myself on the couch (walking past the condenser) and gasped "Turn it on, please" which somehow magically my mother understood - flipped the switch and handed me the tubes. Within a minute, I could breathe without gasping. An hour or so? I stopped coughing. It's supposed to be for when I'm moving around but they didn't bring me any portable canisters - but I want to go to Target tomorrow so I might have to be that jerk that takes a motorized cart and drags a canister the size of an adult leg behind me. Who knows.

It's not really a negative, though. Yeah, the plastic tube across my face certainly is a kind of beacon that hey, there's something wrong with me. People will probably make assumptions, whatever. Why isn't it a negative? Let's think about this. It makes me feel better. And let's be honest, if wearing neon orange boyshorts in public makes you feel better, do it (unless it breaks some sort of law where you live). No, that's a bad comparison to make. Oxygen = good. Whether I get it straight from the air around me or from a condenser or tank, it's a good thing. I will deal. I'm not even the slightest bit bothered by it, honestly.

So the fact that the medication wasn't doing a whole lot but making me throw up, guess what? I don't have to take it anymore!

I'm in the paperwork phase of another clinical trial (remember that plan?) for some promising Immunotherapy stuff. I'm serious when I say my doc was excited about it. I kind of hoped he would have made some crazy gesture with his arms and would have said "Just look what SCIENCE can DOOOOOO!"

Muhahahahaha!! (Ignore the gun in Boris' hand)

So yeah, we wait. That's okay. In the meantime I will breathe and the world will keep on turning!