A lot on my plate...

Get it?

We started moving stuff into the new place yesterday. It was so great to be able to go in and check things out. Can you believe I never actually looked at the bathroom? No claw foot tub, but it'll do. I love all the storage space we have. We bought a new bed, too. We'll have a guest bedroom and a bed for that as well. It feels like we're living in a real house (we kind of are!).

I'm continuing to taper the steroids. Yesterday was probably one of the worst (waking) days I've had with side effects. My face actually felt swollen (it still does, sort of) and I actually had cramping everywhere. My fingers seized up as I was slicing... An avocado (Gasp! More avocado talk! My interest in them is waning somewhat, though). My back tensed if I twisted a certain way, and my legs cramped several times throughout the day, while they normally only happened at night, before.

I was able to sleep pretty peacefully last night, I didn't wake up at all with a cramp - and actually didn't even take any muscle relaxers or pain medication. I took magnesium and potassium (as directed by the oncologist) before bed, so perhaps that's actually helping!

When I was told that I would start Carboplatin/Avastin/Alimta tomorrow, the doctor and nurse both told me to "eat up" because my appetite would go away, most likely. Today, I got similar advice in an online support group I post in:

"That's quite the combo you've got coming your way. I'm sure I don't need to tell you but eat up and drink up in the days before."

So, there it is. Tonight I think we're having barbecue (there's a rib place just down the street from our new place) and I've insisted on ice cream afterwards (if I am still hungry).

Speaking of barbecue, I am now somewhat fascinated by this list of the supposed 30 best BBQ places (according to OpenTable, anyway). Some of them aren't that far away from me and I'd kind of like to go to some of them.

I want to share something that has been going on for a while now, ever since I started having muscle weakness and pain associated with the steroids, anyway. I've been riding my bike to work but have found that my legs cannot carry me up the 5% grade to my house as of late. When I try, my legs will stiffen and cramp - I almost fell off my bicycle when I couldn't bend my knee to continue pedaling. My husband has been taking me home from work, putting the bicycle in the car. As much as I hate to do this, and as much as I wish I could ride more - I take so much pleasure in being able to make the short trip to work. Since I'm feeling a little better, I hope to take longer trips through the neighborhood's mostly flat roads.

It's such a little ride, but it's mine to make. I'm glad cancer hasn't taken that from me, and I'm glad that my husband is there to make sure I get home safely.

Busy

It feels like I haven't written in a while, but I don't want to check how long it's been.

Today I taper even more off of the Dexamethasone, and am down to 2mg per day. My side effects are getting a little better, though I still wake up nightly with leg cramps. Clindamycin has helped the skin issues, somewhat. In addition to my legs getting cramps, my fingers sometimes lock up and ache. I'm trying to drink more water, but I really do not like water.

We're moving this week, today is the first day we can actually start moving things in to the new place. I'm a little sad to say we really haven't been packing much, and I haven't been much help. The lack of chemotherapy and the humid weather conditions have left me exhausted and short of breath. I am experiencing pain in my lung and liver area, but nothing constant or severe. I haven't been able to ride up the hill to our current (and future, for that matter) apartment in a couple of weeks because of muscle weakness, but I may try (On the hottest day in a while? Am I insane?) today.

Going through treatment and dealing with side effects has been a delicate balance of knowing my limitations and testing them. Sometimes you don't know if you can do something unless you try!

Chemotherapy starts Wednesday morning, and it can't get here fast enough. It is extremely frustrating to know that the spot on my liver grew exponentially in such a short time - all I want to do is kick this crap out of my body... Right now, I feel like I am doing absolutely nothing. I know that treatment is on the horizon, and that's why I'm excited and staying positive - but it's still frustrating.