Health is everything, when it's in stock.

I've been sick most days (but not today, woo!) and I almost entirely blame it on a certain pharmacy that I'll just refer to as Voldemort (in other words, I shall not name them).

Wheehee! I fill prescriptions!

I called them on the the 30th (of December) and asked for a refill for an anti-emetic I have. At the time, I still had 7 pills. They said it wouldn't be immediate because of the holiday, but that the prescription would be filled on Friday. I got a phone call shortly after my treatment on Friday from Voldemort and they said it would be Monday. Frustrating, but okay. My nausea is usually worst the few days after treatment happens, and I was running out of my medicine. We went Monday night to fill the prescription and they still didn't have it. Voldemort said it'd probably be Tuesday or Wednesday.

Guess who didn't have the prescription Wednesday night?

My bad.

Almost every day since I have had treatment, I've thrown up. I have other things which I've been told can act as an anti-nausea/emetic but they take a while to work. Not good in my situation, where I don't start to feel crappy until right before I get sick. 

I work in a small office with one other person, usually a student. In these cases, I am in charge - the assistant I was with yesterday was new and wouldn't have been able to be left alone. I started to feel sick, so I excused myself. I came back, watery eyed and chilled, only to have to leave again 5 minutes later. I panicked, to say the least. My hands were clammy and I was trembling, I didn't know what to do. What if this didn't stop? I didn't tell my assistant I was ill, that's a weird hangup of mine. I don't particularly like to announce that I'm nauseated and will probably have to run out of the room at any second to toss my cookies. 

#breakfastFAIL

I went back and sat down with a cup of water, and proceeded to get very, VERY sleepy. I couldn't keep my eyes open, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Either my assistant was oblivious or very polite. In either case, I was grateful. I decided I should probably eat, and warmed up the diced steak and ramen noodles I'd brough. By the time I had a few bites, I was awake and alert and actually felt pretty good. I made it through the rest of my day with no troubles.

It's Thursday and I still have no medication. I transferred the prescription to another (competing) pharmacy. Voldemort was not apologetic in the least. Whatever, Voldemort. 

The good news is that I started lifting weights again. If you're a cancer patient and miss physical activity, check with your doctors. The consensus at this point is that I can exercise "as tolerated". Because there are metastases in my hip, some exercises I used to do are pretty painful. You can modify things, though.

Instead of sit-ups/crunches on the floor, I do them on an exercise ball with a medicine ball in my hands. 

That way, my pelvis isn't on a hard surface. It takes the pressure off but still lets me get some core training in. When I'm stronger this will be helpful (for you know, biking eventually). 

I use resistance bands for both upper and lower body exercises. I don't have to have a metal bar or heavy weights to contend with in case my strength fails me. One example is a chest press that looks like this:

Again, no barbells. My gym has bands with varying degrees of resistance - you can still get a pretty intense workout! It's good to push yourself, but know your body. You will know what's too much. I still do a bench press with the traditional bar because I'm stubborn and I prefer keeping proper form, which is harder to do with that exercise using resistance bands (for me, anyway). 

Having cancer doesn't necessarily mean an end to physical activity. Check with your doctor to see what he or she thinks you're capable of. I'm starting water aerobics soon, which is an impact-free way to get in some cardiovascular exercise. I used to think that water aerobics were for frail old ladies (sorry, old ladies) but it's actually pretty challenging! I did however manage to do a Zumba class. I only stepped out for one song. I was not in excruciating pain, but felt that I might suffer more soreness than I was willing to contend with had I stayed in the whole time. 

Treatment (Cycle 2, Session 2) is tomorrow. My mom will be here today, I'm happy about that. She takes the bus to see me and has no music to listen to, so I'm giving her an mp3 player when she gets here (loaded with music). 

Happy Thursday!

Look what I can do!!

This is my husband with me, at a break point in a social bike ride called Cleveland Slow Roll. Slow Roll is a weekly Monday night group bicycle ride. Started by Detroit Bike City Co-Founders Jason Hall and Mike MacKool back in 2010, Slow Roll has grown into Michigan's largest weekly bike ride and has expanded to 5 cities so far. Slow Roll is for everyone, all ages and types of bikes, with a slow pace that's geared to keep everyone together and safe.

A good friend of mine is the organizer of the Cleveland ride, and I try to make it when I can. The ride usually ends at a restaurant, and last night was no exception! We got crazy amounts of delicious soul food, but I'm just not as hungry. Have you ever wanted to tear into a plate of food with reckless abandon and NOT feel guilty about it later? Yeah, I want to do that. I still kind of want to do that. Not on a daily basis or anything, but I want to. I still drank Kool-Aid out of a giant mason jar, though. Pretty sure it had a full cup of sugar in it. I'm not sorry.

This is the first Slow Roll my husband tagged along for, and I know he already knows this but it really made my day for him to go with us. I feel like I'm predominantly a social rider (though I have done plenty of distance tours and even a few time trials) and he's not - so it was sort of a big deal to me for him to ride along. Riding a bicycle is a huge part of my life, and my marriage is also a huge part of my life - it is nice when the two come together.

I'm really impatient about starting treatment, I don't want to wait anymore. I feel a little weird for actually wanting to be radiated - but I'm anxious. Not having any cancer treatment right now feels like using a computer you KNOW is full of viruses. You could do something about it, but for some foolish reason you are not. I know there are procedures in place - steps that have to be taken. I know this. But a creeping fear sets in every time I feel myself wheeze a little when I take a breath.

Let's get moving, already.

Hey, Ellen...

Since I was diagnosed with lung cancer back in August of 2013, I've wanted to share my story with the world. I quickly found out that lung cancer gets the short end of the stick when it comes to research funding and awareness. Lungs can't be made cute or sexy, the awareness ribbon is white - it's hard to market... Not like breast cancer, I get it. Yeah, I'm kind of bitter about it. Can't be helped.

Am I on to something? Call me, Sanrio!

In 2012, just over 314 million dollars was spent by the National Cancer Institute for lung cancer. Twice as much money was poured into breast cancer research despite the fact that lung cancer is the U.S.’s top cancer killer, claiming approximately 160,000 lives per year. It is a devastating disease that can afflict anyone, regardless of smoking history, gender, or ethnicity. One in 14 people will be diagnosed with lung cancer, and it  kills more people than colorectal, breast and pancreatic cancers combined. (Source: Lungevity, Cancer.gov)

So let's try and level the playing field, shall we? Lung cancer is often found by sheer luck. They found mine because I'd complained of a pain in my calf, which ended up being a blood clot in my leg (that I rode a 150 mile, two-day bicycle tour on). The hospital performed a CT scan of my lungs to check for clots and found "too many to count" along with an "unknown mass" on my right lung. If you're reading this and you have lung cancer, feel free to share your story about how it was discovered for you.

In my case, most doctors probably would never have considered a relatively healthy, active and non-smoking individual to have lung cancer. Lung cancer doesn't really have too many symptoms in the early stages, so you don't start seeing signs until it's more advanced.

A lot of times, as I'm sitting in a doctor's office, laying in an MRI tube or just standing in the shower I think to myself... "Is this really my life?" and it's not even in a melancholy way - it's just that you never, ever imagine that it could happen to you. The reality is, this can happen to anyone. As easy as it is for some to dismiss lung cancer as a smoker's disease - it's truthfully not. The very air you are exposed to on your bike, in your car - anywhere at all, can raise your risk for lung cancer. But you don't stop going outside, you don't hold your breath until you collapse, you must keep living...

But we need to understand lung cancer better, and we need to research ways to find out how to cure it. If it really kills upwards of 160,000 annually - which would basically be as if you wiped out the entire population of Pasadena, California every single year... Isn't it time to take notice? I'm asking all of you - please, please do not wait for a friend or family member to get cancer before you start caring about it. Lung cancer isn't sexy, there's no way to make it more fun or pretty to make it more marketable. I'm jealous that the breast cancer awareness movement has that going for it. Breasts can be sexy. Pink is a darling of a color. Boobies, ta-tas... Call them whatever, just stick it on a mug with a pretty font and people will buy it.

If it will get you to donate money for lung cancer research, I'll make you a t-shirt. I'll even sell it to you for a fair price. I won't profit a dime, I just want the money to go to where it needs to be. I'll make buttons. Whatever it takes.

Ellen DeGeneres, I love your show and I love the compassion you show to your guests. You seem to be such a genuinely kind person, which is why I'm reaching out to you here and on Twitter. I want people to know that lung cancer is very real among people who are young, active, and otherwise perfectly healthy. I want people to know that however you came to have cancer, it doesn't matter. You deserve love. You deserve a cure, and you deserve a life. You have the gift of a large audience who loves you and will listen, I want that podium just for a day - just for 10 minutes, to be able to tell people how important this is to me.

Please, let me share your spotlight.

#Cheer4Cara