Health is everything, when it's in stock.

I've been sick most days (but not today, woo!) and I almost entirely blame it on a certain pharmacy that I'll just refer to as Voldemort (in other words, I shall not name them).

Wheehee! I fill prescriptions!

I called them on the the 30th (of December) and asked for a refill for an anti-emetic I have. At the time, I still had 7 pills. They said it wouldn't be immediate because of the holiday, but that the prescription would be filled on Friday. I got a phone call shortly after my treatment on Friday from Voldemort and they said it would be Monday. Frustrating, but okay. My nausea is usually worst the few days after treatment happens, and I was running out of my medicine. We went Monday night to fill the prescription and they still didn't have it. Voldemort said it'd probably be Tuesday or Wednesday.

Guess who didn't have the prescription Wednesday night?

My bad.

Almost every day since I have had treatment, I've thrown up. I have other things which I've been told can act as an anti-nausea/emetic but they take a while to work. Not good in my situation, where I don't start to feel crappy until right before I get sick. 

I work in a small office with one other person, usually a student. In these cases, I am in charge - the assistant I was with yesterday was new and wouldn't have been able to be left alone. I started to feel sick, so I excused myself. I came back, watery eyed and chilled, only to have to leave again 5 minutes later. I panicked, to say the least. My hands were clammy and I was trembling, I didn't know what to do. What if this didn't stop? I didn't tell my assistant I was ill, that's a weird hangup of mine. I don't particularly like to announce that I'm nauseated and will probably have to run out of the room at any second to toss my cookies. 

#breakfastFAIL

I went back and sat down with a cup of water, and proceeded to get very, VERY sleepy. I couldn't keep my eyes open, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Either my assistant was oblivious or very polite. In either case, I was grateful. I decided I should probably eat, and warmed up the diced steak and ramen noodles I'd brough. By the time I had a few bites, I was awake and alert and actually felt pretty good. I made it through the rest of my day with no troubles.

It's Thursday and I still have no medication. I transferred the prescription to another (competing) pharmacy. Voldemort was not apologetic in the least. Whatever, Voldemort. 

The good news is that I started lifting weights again. If you're a cancer patient and miss physical activity, check with your doctors. The consensus at this point is that I can exercise "as tolerated". Because there are metastases in my hip, some exercises I used to do are pretty painful. You can modify things, though.

Instead of sit-ups/crunches on the floor, I do them on an exercise ball with a medicine ball in my hands. 

That way, my pelvis isn't on a hard surface. It takes the pressure off but still lets me get some core training in. When I'm stronger this will be helpful (for you know, biking eventually). 

I use resistance bands for both upper and lower body exercises. I don't have to have a metal bar or heavy weights to contend with in case my strength fails me. One example is a chest press that looks like this:

Again, no barbells. My gym has bands with varying degrees of resistance - you can still get a pretty intense workout! It's good to push yourself, but know your body. You will know what's too much. I still do a bench press with the traditional bar because I'm stubborn and I prefer keeping proper form, which is harder to do with that exercise using resistance bands (for me, anyway). 

Having cancer doesn't necessarily mean an end to physical activity. Check with your doctor to see what he or she thinks you're capable of. I'm starting water aerobics soon, which is an impact-free way to get in some cardiovascular exercise. I used to think that water aerobics were for frail old ladies (sorry, old ladies) but it's actually pretty challenging! I did however manage to do a Zumba class. I only stepped out for one song. I was not in excruciating pain, but felt that I might suffer more soreness than I was willing to contend with had I stayed in the whole time. 

Treatment (Cycle 2, Session 2) is tomorrow. My mom will be here today, I'm happy about that. She takes the bus to see me and has no music to listen to, so I'm giving her an mp3 player when she gets here (loaded with music). 

Happy Thursday!

CyberKnife 2 : Radiation Boogaloo

Today's CyberKnife music was brought to me by the Mamas and the Papas, for the most part. I have the choice to bring in CDs if I want to, but we've had some mishaps with burning music so I've relied on what they have. Hopefully I will have my own sweet jams for session three.

Initially the treatment seemed to take more out of me. I felt dizzy and a little disoriented - more than before... But maybe my head was just squished a little too much in the mask. I felt and still feel a little more lethargic today. I ate lunch when I got back to work and feel a little better.

I'll be happy when I can lay down and rest, to be honest.

The session didn't last as long, but I was still there receiving treatment for 30-45 minutes. It's not so bad - again the mask is a little surreal and it wasn't on tightly enough at first so when they were setting me up, they had to come in the room and re-adjust me so I was nice and immobile.

There's an oncology social worker that visits me from time to time, and she stopped the room where I was waiting and brought me a card/brochure for art therapy - I can decorate my radiation mask when I'm done.

Art is very important to me, it always has been in a way - I had a job a few years back where I'd bring pens and markers to work to doodle - and eventually my boss took my art supplies from me... That only made me more creative and defiant.

I'm looking to get back into some sort of exercise program. Hopefully I'll be able to lift weights some, but I think I'll be doing it at a significantly lower intensity than before. I'm thinking more about trying yoga, and seeing if I can find water aerobics in my area (the class in the winter was unreliable due to weather and other issues, I'm guessing). I don't feel as fast or as strong right now, but I've got to keep moving.

We did find strawberries yesterday. They're delicious - I had some with breakfast and lunch!!