♬ Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of cancer fascination...♬

Part of what fascinates me about cancer is how it finds creative ways to try and kill you.

For me, it started with a huge blood clot in my calf (deep vein thrombosis). I very nearly shrugged it off as pains from being the Magnificent Cycling Goddess™ that I once was.

We got massages at the end of the first day of a 150 mile bicycle tour in August of 2013, and a friend bragged that he had a masseuse that made it "hurt so good" and I was jealous. I had a lady who wanted to anoint me with oils while she tenderly stroked my arms and legs. I felt cheated. Had someone really gone to town on that leg, something really bad could have happened.

That September, it tried to kill me by flooding my pleura with 3 liters of fluid.

November, it filled my pericardium with fluid. I was in the hospital a very long time.

Maybe it weirds you out that I find this fascinating, but I do. I didn't do anything to cause my cancer that I know of, but something in my body decided it should make those cells and "divide and conquer" my body.

Why'd you do that?

It's weird, right? Sometimes people are more prone to cancer because of their genes, but not in my case. Not in a lot of cases, really. Smoking increases your risk factor for cancer, but think of all the people that smoke for years upon years that never get lung cancer. I have been pushing for my parents to stop smoking for a while now - my Dad has COPD and emphysema and still smokes a lot. 

I know what it feels like to not be able to breathe. I remember getting exhausted walking from my driveway to my old apartment, it's terrible - it HURTS. I don't hold it against them, I understand there's a chemical addiction, and that their brain receives some signal that tells them "Yeah, this feels GREAT!" when they smoke.  I just wish they wouldn't do it. 

It's not like the flu or some other virus or a bacteria. Fun fact? You can simply exist, and get cancer. 

Tell your friends!

Which, by the way - I'm terrified of getting the flu. Yes, I got a flu shot like everyone should... But the main strain of flu that's floating around isn't covered by the most recent vaccine. Well, that's just FANTASTIC - coupled with the fact that I work in an office where there are plenty of hygenically-challenged people coming in. I should buy stock in Bath and Body Works hand sanitizers. It is always amusing to talk to a candidate when I have a face mask on, though.

Wait, why are you running away? Stop!!

I don't always wear one, but when someone comes in and appears to be particularly sniffly/coughing or snotty, it's on. 

I had the ick this weekend after chemotherapy. I started the second cycle of the clinical trial I'm on. I was okay on Saturday for the most part, but got very cold (nope, no fever - in fact my temp was 95.8 on two different thermometers) and sicky. My main issue with vomiting/nausea is that sometimes I can't tell the difference between imminent barfing and "hey, you should probably eat some chicken or something". I felt kind of off this morning and decided to stick to baby cereal but the ick didn't go away so I chanced it and ate some chicken adobo. Guess who feels a little better now?  

One guess. 

Who knows what tomorrow will bring.