The Chemo Monster

Today I would like you introduce you to my liver. 

That's right, that's my dirty pig of a liver - gobbling up chemo but not really getting any better. Dirty piggy liver, it eats it up and...Nothing. I had a CT scan, and yesterday was the first day an oncologist would not feign a toothy grin. Truth be told, I appreciate that. Battling cancer isn't all sunshine and roses. Most anyone who pens a blog and says it's been easy or only tell you the good parts is hiding something - maybe for your sake, or maybe for theirs. 

My liver hasn't wanted to cooperate for a really long time - the best response I had was on Alectinib... And even then there was slight progression. When I stopped Alectinib there was a lot of progression and that was what led me to go to traditional chemo (which didn't work on the liver either). 

I'm numb right now, and I'm annoyed. I'm not mad at my doctor - he's doing everything he can. In a way he almost seemed as pissed off/confused as me. I also think he and my nurse expected me to burst into tears. Not going to happen. I had my cancer cry when I was diagnosed...I still get upset but I'm not going to get discouraged. 

Right now, I'm in a little pain. I don't know if it's because it's cold or if it's the cancer. I sent an email to my nurse. I hope to be on a new drug next week. Until then, I wish I could just sleep. I really, really want to see some improvement/control in my liver. Please let Zykadia work.