Fighting the Good Fight

Today we visited the Radiation Oncologist to discuss Thursday's MRI. On the day of the scan itself, all we knew was that there were new spots (worms, except not really - it's cancer!) on the brain. We found out that the spots are "teeny tiny" and that they're not an immediate concern, considering I am on treatment for the lung and other mets (bone and liver) via chemotherapy.

We're giving copies of the MRI to my current oncologist to see what he thinks. Right now, the verdict is that the brain metastases are so minor and non threatening at this point, that the Radiation Oncologist wants to follow up in two months and see if anything has grown. My guess (as well as the doctor's) is that the liver is a greater risk/threat and should be stabilized/treated before we'd do anything for the brain. I'm excited for next week's scans to see what has happened. All I know is that overall (aside from the occasional nausea/pukefest) I'm feeling pretty good!

There was a time before I started this trial where I wondered if I'd ever know what it was like to not feel pain again. After two infusions and an adjustment in my pain medications, I started to feel better. Now, I'm exercising and am able to walk a lot more. Today, we walked quite a distance within the hospital and I walked with my husband to the parking garage, instead of having him pick me up. Right now I feel like I've got a little cold or something, because I'm sniffling a lot and it's been a little harder to breathe, but it doesn't feel like it's in my lungs. My O2 saturation is 99/100 and I don't have a fever at all. I'm treating that and just relaxing today.

I honestly expected the worst, today. It's easy to be pessimistic when you've been diagnosed with lung cancer only a day after a routine office visit. Nowadays, I prepare myself for the worst before every visit. I don't think of it as being negative, I think of it as being realistic. Today was a bit of good news, in my mind. Even if radiation is in my future, I feel like I know what to expect. I know if I get radiation, it's possible (if not likely, depending on the type of treatment) that I'll lose my hair. Big deal. All I really want to do is live - and if I have to deal with unpleasantries to survive, then that's what I have to do.

Either you accept that it's truly going to be a battle, or you don't. There really is no middle ground.

Things Change

I had a couple of scans yesterday (CT of the lung/pelvis & MRI of the brain). There was a bit of a scheduling/location nightmare and I ended up having a teensy meltdown (tears and all) but the folks at the hospital set things right.

Today we got the results of the CT, and they showed "significant" growth on the liver lesion (it went from 1cm to about 4cm) and growth in the lung. It actually kind of explains the pain and shortness of breath lately. I've also been ridiculously tired. I thought it was just the humidity

Because there was minor activity/growth on the liver while still on the clinical trial drug (though most areas were stable) and the growth was so significant after just 4-5 weeks... The oncologist felt that since I'm in fairly good health otherwise that it would be best to start IV chemotherapy next week.

I will be taking Carboplatin/Alimta/Avastin and each "cycle" of chemotherapy will be 3 weeks (one infusion during that time). I don't know how it'll affect me. I'm sad, but I'm not. This is a new treatment, this is a new chance to fight my cancer, and a new way to accessorize - am I right? I'm scarf shopping online, since it's possible I will lose even more (if not all of) my hair. The pre-tied wraps they have look terrible and are expensive, so I'm going to have to try and learn how to tie scarves creatively - or get a cute hat or two. Truthfully, I do not like most hats.

Right now I can barely stay awake. I would love to go home and take a little nap. Tonight, I think I'm going to try and get out of the house and have pizza with a friend. We'll see how I feel. Sometimes, I hate feeling like such a fuddy-duddy, sometimes I feel like a stick in the mud because I'm so damn tired. There's a reason I'm tired, and it's okay. I feel like I should get out of the house and do something fun this week - I might not feel like it at all come next week.

Weekend Recap

I've had a pretty busy and exciting weekend, I hardly know where to begin!

Unfortunately allergies or some annoying bug is in the air and I've been dealing with stuffy ears and throat for the past several days. Drinking a lot of fluids seems to help, though I keep forgetting to refrigerate my Gatorade, and that helps with the leg cramps that I get in the nighttime.

Friday I met with Beth from Lungevity, who came in from California to meet with me and a few other Cleveland area folks about putting on a fundraiser event in Cleveland in the late spring of 2015. We brainstormed and came up with some really good ideas. I'm excited to be a part of an event that will undoubtedly be fun, information and help raise funds for lung cancer research.

Saturday we went to the market and I got to test out my new sunscreen some more - it's called Sun Bum (SPF 30) and I wore it around noon, and again in the later afternoon sun (at the beach) and did not burn at all. I'd tried a few other things (Alba Mineral Sunscreen, SPF 30, Alba Hawaiian Sunscreen, SPF 45 and Coppertone Sport, SPF 50) and would burn without fail. So, looks like Sun Bum is the way to go for me!

We bought a sun shelter like this one (in fact it is this one) and brought it with us to the beach and it was fantastic. There was a lot of sand so it took some work to stake the umbrella, but it is amazing so far!

I realize that a lot of this post sounds like I'm a shill for sun care products, but I'm not!

I have scans today, which I think are part of the protocol for the clinical trial I'm in (MRI & CT). They'll also be accessing my port for a blood draw which is super weird (it doesn't hurt me, but the *snap* sound as the needle/thing hooks in is sort of weird and makes me feel a bit inhuman...). I'm pretty tired, but I think that has to do with the humidity and heat. We should have a reprieve from both starting tomorrow, for a day or so anyway.

I'm on the lookout for grocery panniers or other bags that will attach to my bicycle. I don't mind riding of course, but having a bag on my back (especially where the cross-strap hits right on my port) is annoying, especially on uphill treks. I've gotten a few suggestions and am mulling them over now. If anyone has any more ideas, I'm open to suggestion! When we move, we'll be easy biking distance to the grocery store. I don't want to have to drive to the grocery (at all, if we can help it) so they'll be useful then too!

As I briefly touched on in my last post, my hair has fallen out some. It's weird, if nothing else!! A good friend of mine was kind enough to give me a trim so it looks and feels a bit less obvious that I have bald patches. It feels nice! I'm completely okay with losing my hair - I may get some scarves or even a wig at some point (we'll see what happens with future treatments) but it's okay. It's only hair. It will grow back. 

I'm looking at a website that lists all of the cool stuff that goes on in our new neighborhood. There's so much fun stuff nearby, I'm excited!