CyberKnife Episode IV - A New Zap

Today's music will be brought to me by Star Wars. We're even going to put the 20th Century Fox intro on the first track, I think it would be amusing if it played as the heavy lead door to the room was closing slowly - but that will probably not happen.

We looked at some apartments yesterday  and I feel that we're very close to finding something GREAT! I do not want to reveal too much because I'm mildly superstitious about it, but I've got my fingers crossed. As of now, it's all I can think about.

I e-mailed my nurse about the leg cramps I've been having - I know I've spoken about them before but they're increasing in frequency and pain level, and they mostly happen at night. Sleeping has been a little better, I'm crediting melatonin and the fact that I took the steroid MUCH earlier in the day yesterday. I've also been trying to nap/sleep more, and that's been beneficial.

I have to remember to do things for myself, to be good to myself. To not be a hero (two nurses have told me that).

Sometimes, I actually do forget that I'm battling a serious illness. It's hard to explain - because I'm reminded somehow every day that I have cancer. Maybe I'm used to cancer? That's weird, isn't it? The only thing that reminds me from time to time that I'm actually not well is when fatigue hits me, or I see/feel one of my scars (my port, for one). I guess in a way, it helps me to remain positive. I'm not in denial - in fact I do a lot to make sure that others know about cancer. I want people to know what my experiences are like, even if they're not pleasant.

I typed most of this before I actually had radiation. Today was a quick appointment, they seem to get faster once they're able to pinpoint the places they need to go. From setup to completion, it generally takes about 30-40 minutes now. Fatigue has hit me, now. My husband brought me a healthy wrap (pita with cabbage and other veggies and chicken) and a yummy mango lemonade after treatment. It was good to have something delicious.

Now, I'm very tired. I've been biking to and from work on most days, but generally find that it's difficult to ride after radiation treatment, so I don't. One more appointment to go!