CyberKnife #3

Yeah, yeah. CyberKnife.

What's more important is... I had a NAP!!

I got to my appointment today at 11 and was told that there'd be a little bit of a delay, which was fine. I was falling asleep in the waiting room so my nurse actually asked me if I wanted to go lay down in a quiet area in a recliner - and that sounded so good! I didn't think I'd sleep at first, but they came back to get me at NOON and my nurse said I'd actually fallen asleep for a while.

I wrote the first part of this entry earlier in the afternoon. When I got home from work, I fell asleep again - and again after dinner for several hours! My only concern now is that it's a little past 1:00 in the morning and I'm due to be up in 4 hours for work. Strangely enough I'm starting to come to peace with my completely screwed up sleeping schedule. There have only been a couple of days where I've felt totally wiped out and thankfully, those have been on weekends. I woke up at 3:00 yesterday and managed to fall asleep for one hour on the couch before really waking up for work around 6.

I didn't have my own CD of music for CyberKnife again today. I'm not truthfully that upset by it, but listening to the music that other people have left behind from their treatments is a little weird in my mind. Lots of crooner music today, some of it kind of depressing. I sort of wondered why the person who left the CD chose the songs they did - if they put them in a melancholy or reflective state of mind... Or if it's just nostalgic music to them.

I still want to make a CD with science fiction music (I have already made a playlist on Spotify) and I'd love to leave it for someone else. I wonder what they'd think as they lay on the table, listening to the clicks and drone of the machine - all the while with the Star Trek: The Next Generation theme song in the background. Would they laugh (muffled of course, you can't even talk in that mask) or think it was completely weird that someone chose to have their treatment to that song? What if I followed it up with the Superman theme? I also considered having the theme from Rocky Horror Picture Show - not sure why except I do actually like that soundtrack.

The side effects are the same today, I'm tired (obviously!) and I have a little headache. I had a discussion with the nurse about the side effects from the steroids (skin issues and a little edema are the latest, but sleeplessness is a big one still) and she suggested that I take the second dose earlier in the day (2:00-ish instead of 5). I didn't have the pill bottle with me at work so I didn't get to try this today, but I will tomorrow.

One thing that's been happening the past day or so are TERRIBLE leg/feet cramps that aren't even in my calves. The top tendon of my feet and my ankles tense up so badly that my feet and toes curl upward and the pain is excruciating. It took several minutes of pained contortion/massaging of my feet (I tried standing up and placing my feet flat - OW) to get it to stop. It happened in the middle of the night last night and again this afternoon. I have been drinking Gatorade and water but know that I could always drink more. It's a horrible excuse, but water is so boring to me. I've been taking potassium, too. I brought it up to the nurse and we agreed again, that the dreaded Dexamethasone is likely to blame. It seems like such an innocuous drug to me, but I guess I'm wrong - it has wreaked more havoc on me than anything I've ever had to take before - and that includes chemotherapy (so far - keep in mind no IV yet and I know that's a whole new ballgame).

I suppose it's time to try and sleep again, I'm not sure how it will go. I had to take another Pepcid - I took one earlier but started to feel not so good again. There's a farmer's market happening Thursday on the campus of the hospital. I want to try and get there before or after treatment to see if they have strawberries. I know the season may be dwindling but I seriously want and need more! Yummy!