Things Change

I had a couple of scans yesterday (CT of the lung/pelvis & MRI of the brain). There was a bit of a scheduling/location nightmare and I ended up having a teensy meltdown (tears and all) but the folks at the hospital set things right.

Today we got the results of the CT, and they showed "significant" growth on the liver lesion (it went from 1cm to about 4cm) and growth in the lung. It actually kind of explains the pain and shortness of breath lately. I've also been ridiculously tired. I thought it was just the humidity

Because there was minor activity/growth on the liver while still on the clinical trial drug (though most areas were stable) and the growth was so significant after just 4-5 weeks... The oncologist felt that since I'm in fairly good health otherwise that it would be best to start IV chemotherapy next week.

I will be taking Carboplatin/Alimta/Avastin and each "cycle" of chemotherapy will be 3 weeks (one infusion during that time). I don't know how it'll affect me. I'm sad, but I'm not. This is a new treatment, this is a new chance to fight my cancer, and a new way to accessorize - am I right? I'm scarf shopping online, since it's possible I will lose even more (if not all of) my hair. The pre-tied wraps they have look terrible and are expensive, so I'm going to have to try and learn how to tie scarves creatively - or get a cute hat or two. Truthfully, I do not like most hats.

Right now I can barely stay awake. I would love to go home and take a little nap. Tonight, I think I'm going to try and get out of the house and have pizza with a friend. We'll see how I feel. Sometimes, I hate feeling like such a fuddy-duddy, sometimes I feel like a stick in the mud because I'm so damn tired. There's a reason I'm tired, and it's okay. I feel like I should get out of the house and do something fun this week - I might not feel like it at all come next week.